Jansport

Some years ago, I had a nice girlfriend called Jan. Jan was an urban girlfriend. Unlike some people I knew, she was not given to excessive exercise, hikes, skiing, biking, that sort of thing. These pursuits did not interest her and in fact she knew very little about them. She liked the more normal activities of hanging out, watching TV, going to malls, applying make-up, driving around the suburbs, parking. One day, I was discussing backpacks with a common friend who was about to set out on an extended hike in the Rockies. As we got into the meatier part of the discussion, the brand name Jansport came up, and Jan's ears pricked up immediately. She wanted to know more. Did this have anything to do with her? What was Jansport? We laughed about it at the time, but later, having driven her home, I began musing on the real meaning of the word, and I composed the following more complete explanation for her.

Jansport was first discovered by primitive man many many years ago. When he had advanced to the point when he no longer had to spend every minute of the day hunting and gathering and protecting himself from his enemies, he began to look around for more pleasant ways to spend his time and energies. Jansport was one of his favourite pastimes. It involved the carrying of Jans (Jan is an old Uro-Scandinavian word for the female of the species) to secluded spots, often within hearing distance of the main campfire. The stronger the man, the more Jans he could carry, and, of course, the more fun he would have. The man who could carry the most was known as the Janman of that particular camp and this position gave him great respect and privileges.

Young boys, who had not yet carried their first Jan, were somewhat strangely known as Jans, or Jeunes, and the ceremony by which they attained manhood was known as Janning. For a reason we do not quite understand, this ceremony was always carried out at the coldest season of the year, whence our January. (Some believe that January was named after Janus, the god of the doorway, but since these primitive tribes did not have doors, this appears doubtful; unless of course, we're talking metaphor.) Anyway, as you can see, Jansport was once a very important part of our culture; not surprisingly, some aspects have survived to this day. For more details of the sport, and the fascinating variations it gave rise to across different camps and tribes, you may wish to consult one of the many specialized volumes devoted to the topic.